Rapid Relief from
Emotional Distress Series

Rapid Relief Revised


HOW TO GET RAPID RELIEF

If you suffer from hurt, dissatisfaction, jealousy, fustration, resentment, helplessness, hopelessness, demoralization, anger, guilt*, shame*, anxiety, depression* or are distressed over work, love, mpney, health, and a host of other problems, you are one of the walking wounded. You may be able to get up each day, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner and go to bed, but are you in pain? If you are, or someone you love is in pain, here is how to learn the necessary steps that get rid of all of these life issues.


KNOW THAT YOU CREATE YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN
Rapid Relief from emotional distress is possible, because both the distress and the relief come from the same source: you.  Events, and people, don't cause your psychological world* of experience, or feelings. If you let events, or other people, determine your psychological world, you will always be shoved around by those forces.


KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHANGE AND CHOICE
Change is a concept best applied to the physical world; it may be very difficult to accomplish. It typically takes time ("I can't change overnight"), energy ("I am just too tired"), and special knowledge ("Someone will have to teach me how to do this")

Choice, on the other hand, is simple. The only energy you need to spend is the amount required to stay aware of the current options you have available to select from. Choice is a basic psychological process, and is simple to do. You don't need any tools; selecting among options requires little or no time. Choice, unlike change doesn't result in a stable result.


HOW TO BUILD INTIMACY
Negative and positive expectations blind you to the real opportunities for happiness and achievement that exist in current reality. They undermine your vision. When you insist on a specific means ("Bill is the only one I could be happily married too") you overlook your choices.


LIFE AND LABELS
In life, events are only events until you label them. You step out of your door and someone says ("Nice day") to you. That event is neither good, nor bad, until you label it ("Nice of him to say that" versus "I hate it when people say that"). You experience the event according to the label you place on it.


SEPERATE THE CHOICE WORLD FROM THE CHANGE WORLD
Because the physical world* is the world we initially learn from, and it is a change world, we generally do  not appreicate that the psychological world is better understood , not as a change world , but as a creation world. Today, through the choices we are making, we create the experience we will have tomorrow, and the tomorrows after that.


IDENTIFYING YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL SELF IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD
In the psychological world you can nearly always create the experience you want. In the physical world what looks like someone blocking your way is merely the removal of one choice. You may not see the choice you want, but that doesn't mean it's absent.



RESPONSE-ABILITY
By response-ability, I mean our ability to create and manage our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. In the choice system, you maintain accountability for all of your thoughts, feelings and actions, because you recognize that you create them either directly or indirectly. When you stay accountable and understand response-ability in your life, you become the primary creative force in your life.


ACCOUNTABILITY
Let's turn to accountability, the second concept under responsibility. We can talk about assigned accountability and self accountability. Self accountability to one's self. Self accountability includes what you are directly response-able for and what you can indirectly influence. Accountability is first of all a convention. By this I mean that it is made up. If your car slips out of gear and rolls back into another car, who will they come looking for? If you said the owner of the car you would likely be correct.


RELIEF FOR LIFE
Let me restate a few ovious points about accountability
    Staying in self-accountability, as opposed to blame, is a precursor to developing good self esteem.
    
Self-accountability helps ground you in current reality
    Self-accountability helps you learn cause and effect relationships.
    Accountabilities are often fixed
    Accountabilities may not be influenced by internal or external factors.
    Accountability can be transferred, or assigned, to anyone for anything at anytime.
    Self-accountability is not self blame.
    Self-accountability influences all areas of your life.
    Staying in the choice system can lead to relief for life.


OTHER CONCEPTS TO HELP GET RID OF PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN 
You can eliminate psychological pain by letting go of the need to change current reality. When you use the choice system to accept current reality, you dissolve need, and your pain disappears. You should understand this does not always make the problem go away--- just the pain

I have seen hundreds of patients turn off their psychological pain once they accept current reality. Accepting current reality meansa honestly acknowledging what exists. You tell yourself the truth. You don't ignore what you dislike, exaggerate it negatively, or exaggerate it positively. You look at it in a clear and objective way. After you have a clear picture of what you have been rejecting, you consciously have to allow it to exist. Rather then fighting it, or forbidding it to be, you permit it to exist.



EMOTIONAL CRISES MANAGEMENT
You have two feedback mechanisms: your emotional and your goal-reaching mechanisms: your emotional and your goal-reaching mechanisms. The two often interact and influence each other. Your anxiety about a car accident can motivate you to use your seat belt. Using emotions to motivate your actions is often and automatic, unaware process.

You can, however use your goal reaching mechanisms without any emotional input. For example, you could decide to use your seat belt simply because you decide to, or because it is the law, or because you understand it is safer 



INFLUENCES ON YOUR ACCEPTOR
Some people have open acceptors; they easily process the daily demands of living, and if necessary absorb major losses, such as the death of a mate, with little difficulty. The ups and downsof life flow smoothly through their acceptors

Other people have sluggish acceptors. They often feel blocked ("I can't stand what's going on"), and even when their acceptors work, they accept only a trickle of current reality ("I can hardly put up with this"). The gap, or mismatch, between what they need and how they see current reality is large. They have more distorted images of reality ("I need others'love"; " I need to be perfect"; "I need to be in control"; "I can't trust others"; "I don't belong"; "I can't do it")


THINKING STRATEGIES
We humans despair more than any other living creatures primarily because we can make ourselves unhappy. On the other hand, what makes us rather unique is our ability to direct and correct our thinking. When your thinking is straight and clear, you understand and accept reality better.

Your thoughts include choices in how you see reality (" This is good ") and in how you act (" I'll go for it "). You can substitute or select a new thought to replace an old one. Substituting a new thought does not necessarily change the essence of the prior thought. Think of a circle. Now think of a triangle. Your thoughts of what constitutes a circle didn't change. In this book the opposite may occur. With each section that you read, what you thought you understood in the previous section may undergo a transformation. At times we must arrive at a new conceptin increments. Think about how you learned to do division.


HOW TO CREATE WHAT YOU WANT
To create the experiences you want, you need to connect where you are (current reality) with where you want to go (your vision). Your vision guides the actions you should take in current reality. Your vision is the magnet that does the pulling-- you simply allow it to materialize.


STRATEGIES FOR TAKING ACTION
You can wait or you can act. You can wait to study for the bar when your virus is gone, or you can study despite your virus. You can wait  to have a home until you find a husband, or wife, or you can create a home as a one person family. You can wait to go to the movie until someone asks you, or you can ask someone to go. 


SUGGESTIONS FOR A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT YOU READ
There are four concepts that one should be aware of when reading, in order to help put knowledge into perspective.

What is the level of abstraction that is being presented in the work? When this characteristic, or attribute, is being considered, it is not a matter of what is right, or wrong. There is no right or wrong here. There is only the perspective that is being presented. We can accept high, or low, levels of abstractio; it is only important that you understand the level that is being presented. If one is reading Plato, the information is being presented at a high level of abstraction (" It is the unexamined life that is a waste. " Everything has a " primary form "  that is inseperable  from the object). These are high-level abstractions, and as such, can have almost an indefinate number of interpretations. The higher the level of abstraction, the harder it is to get agreement. This is why there are over 4,000 Christian denominations in the U.S., and over 24,000 in the world.


DEFINITIONS
Assigned Accountability (AA): Accountability may be assigned either to self (Self-accountability or SA) or to others  or even events. Others may assign accountability to you or to themsellves. Often incorrectly. Accountability is a convention (It is essentially made up).
Attributes of Assigned Accountability (AA)
    It is frequently fixed.
    It is not influenced directly by internal or external factors.
Theree are three actions we are commonly held "responsible" (meaning accountable) for or that we hold ourselves "responsible" (meaning accountable) for:
    Other people's thoughts
    Other people's feelings
    Other people's behaviors
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