Rapid Relief from
Emotional Distress Series

Teacher's Book

" I would hold that at a minimum of half of the world is delusional all the time and most likely 98% of the people in the world respond to a situation in a delusional fashion at least one or more times during an average day."

Teachers are underpaid and over worked, but they should be aware that they have an opportunity to benefit the world far more than they are currently. They can do this by teaching themselves and their pupils not only how to make good sentences, but by helping them to understand what sentences don't maked sense. Adding this second element creates for the student a more realistic world: a world with fewer burdens and more joy.

What I am promoting has to do with the manager  in which you teach what you teach. It has to do with listening to your children and helping them to understand not only the lessons from their texts, but also the lessons about life that you can impart to them. To do so
, you must know the principals yourself.

You may, or may not be familiar with the reference to levels of abstraction, or as some writers refer to it, ladder of abstraction, so let me elaborate briefly.
Levels of abstraction run from the very low level, observable phenomena, like the salivation of a dog to the ringing of a bell (Pavlov) to the high level intellectual cioncept of the "one true form." (Plato)

The word responsibility unfortunately has two meanings intrinsic to it: response-ability (RA) and assigned accountability (AA). The answers I listed that patients commonly give me to my question are actually assignment of accountability. These responses are high level abstractions, which is why there are so many differing ones.
Mental intermediation is all of those thoughts that run around in your mind during the day. As you rread, or listen, to a presentation, it is the thoughts in the background that you are having about the presentation:  do I like this, do I believe this, do I want to remember this, can I apply this later, etc. It's these thoughts that set up the feeling experiences we have; many times people are not very aware of what is running in their head, and they are even less aware of how these thoughts are actually creating the feelings they have.

Speech is behavior; in therapy, I remind my patients that speech is an important behavior. I frequently recommend they pay close attention to the way they phrase things they say. At times I will suggest that certain words not be used at all.

Inaccurate speech as I am using the term does not have anything to do with the grammatical structure of a sentence, but is about the misleading, inaccurate, or confusing content of a sentence.
Additionally, young children are not able to distinguish cause and effect from sequential ordering of events; older children, those who can make the distinction, generally do not do so, because they do not recognize the importsnce of doing so, and because most of the people around them are not making the distinction either.

Cause and Effect relationships are generally low level abstraction issues: you step on a nail and there is a hole in your foot that hurts. One does not have to go to court to figure this one out. Courts are where people go when they want to hold others responsible for something that is not easily identified as casual, or when someone (attorney or individual) wishes to convinces others there is a casual relationship when none exists.

Others are responsible for my thoughts, feelings and actions; I am responsible for others thoughts, feelings and actions (Called system one thinking-S1T) is the common belief system, the opening  system, the only game in toen for the child until they are approximately twelve and a half (12.5) years old.

Assigning others accountability, for something they have no response-ability for, is a major way of creating problems, even outside a court. Repeated thousands, perhaps millions of times in childhood, and often even more times in adulthood, because adulthood runs longer than childhood, it creates a social pressure that affects millions of lives, millions of times.

Response-ability and accountability are two seperate concepts under the word responsibility. Because both meanings are present, and neither meaning may be specified, it causes ambiguity. Each of these two concepts has attributes.

There are three things we are response-able for: our own thoughts, feelings and actions. There are
three things we can sometimes hold ourselves responsible for, or others will gladly hold us accountable for, and that is other's thoughts, feelings and actions.

Once a person understands what they are actually response-able for, they are generally able to proceed to a good solution, or resolution. We never resolve problems when we are being held accountable, or are being blamed for something we have no ability to actually do anything about.

In any given situation many people may have RA for doing something.

Self accountability (SA), the assignment of accountablility to our self, includes two possible areas: one is the area within a circle representing RA and the other is the area surrounding that circle, where there may be a possibility to influence the event or the outcome.

It is generally healthy for us to look at how we can better ourselves; how we can become more effective in the area of slef accountability. It is possible, however for the opposite outcome to occur when people are too critical of themselves, or when others are too critical of us.

I heard it said in my child fellowship, thqat girls change best friends seven times more frequently than boys do. What is behind this observation? First of all, girls are more social. They do things that boys do not typically do.

There are several interpersonal dances that commonly develop as a result of this communication problem. 1.) Closeness>fear>screw-up. When one person (A) holds another (B) resposible for thier (A's) feelings, it causes a sense of fear to occur as they get closer to each other.

Aggression is attributed to as many different causes as is suicide. The primary issues behind aggression are hormones, development, education, socialization, drugs and blaming. MOst of the identified causes of aggression are actually just people, places, or events that are present at the same time that aggression is experienced.

When we say something, we end up believingit; when we believe something we end up acting as if it is true.

Is aggression bipolar? As a psychiatrist, I can tell you that all it takes to get a diagnosis of bipolar in my area of the country is to get angry. in approximately four  out of every 10 new patients I see, anget is one of the chief complaints. Most of these individuals have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder if they have seen a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor.
Blaming has probably killed more people than all plagues put together.

Teachers can't teach what hey don't know. It would be a simple matter for teachers to include this in their curriculum, but since most teachers are also blind to the problems that failure to expose this process can create, they cannot teach it, and, in fact, the often seem to promote the misunderstanding.

The purpose of argument is to cause the person you are arguing with to forget they have all the power in the first place.

Individuals used to looking at data in a Baconian manner where facts are arrived at by a process of observation and verified by experimentatio, know  the problems related to establishing anything as fact.

Transference is another mental activity that could be better understood. As used in psychiatry it basically mean bringing feelings from one event or person and transferring them onto another event or person.

Blaming can have anymore, or anything, as its pervceived origin, including self.

Anger does not have any casual relationship to events that preceded it, or to things people may have said or done.

The belief sysrem, " others are resposible for my thoughts, feelings, and action; I am responsible for others thoughts, feelings and action" (S1T) is like the heads and tails of a coin. At times a person will only see one side.

The opposite of dependency is healthy dependency; the opposite is not independency.

Mental intermediation os about what our mind has to say about things. It is composed of the scripts we may be running in our lives (good guys never win ballgames) as well as the automatic thoughts that go on in the background all the time we are awake.

Thoughts and feelings effect the behaviour that one has; feelings and behaviour effect the thoughts; thoughts and behaviors affect the feelings we have.

Children learn about the world around them almost entirely
by thier interaction with the physical world.

Control is more of an illusion than a reality.
When we are in sync with nature, it apppears we have control.

Choice , selection and movement make the difference in the psychological world. Because therse are the operative concepts,  differences in the psychological world can occur much quicker than in the physical world.

Do not use avoidance in the psychological world. One piece of information needed to solve psychological problems is that it is not good, useful, healthy or helpful to avoid dealing with, thinking about or confronting unpleaseant events in our lives.

The belief system that we want to replace the blame system with is,
" I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings, and actions; others are responsible for their own thoughts, feelings and actions."

Getting out of system one thinking is probably the most important cognitive development milestone that occurs between the ages of ten and sixteen years of age, and it should be rewarded by recognition.

We are often caught up in the idea that psychological pain is related to events, because it follows events in time (sequential ordering)

Guilt is the body feeling that comes when we are unwilling to pay the price for the decision we make.

Guilt, in a practical sense, has nothing whatsoever to do with the rightness, wrongness, goodness or badness of any given act.

A development task that needs to occur between the ages of 10 and 12.5 years is for the child to
learn how to ignore those behaviors of others that they feel are contributing to their being upset.
A dynamic that children do not understand very well has to do with how someone's unhappiness with them, can make them go to work for that person.

Knowing if what we are told is accurate-is power. The ability to see into a situation and to know if what is being said relects reality, or not, is paramount to knowing.

To help children, adults must become aware of the lies we all tell. When adults or children tell someone they have "pissed me off," they are lying.

Stealing can be more difficult to deal with depending on the support of administration and family.

Dishonesty by Omission (withholding the truth) or commission (telling an untruth) is a common by product of the blame system. Children will not tell the truth because they want to control the outcome.
If I were to write an essay on "What is the most important thing you can tell us about living a successful life?" I woiuld have to say it is the ability to keep a separation between our inner and outer life.

Current speech patterns predict future behavior. Blaming is one of the primary speech patterns that create behavioral problems. If teachers do not address blaming in the school while children are still in the learning model, it is addressed later at home as a right and wrong issue.

There is no one right way to feel about most events. If its the right way to feel then how can you help someone feel differently?

Children do not have a problem with inconsistencies in their life. They are impressionable and they do not have an understanding of the world, or how it work. For the  first 12.5 years of life, children remain delusional; not as a product of a mental illness, but as a product of development.

I attempt to teach my parents that the developmental challenge between ages of 10-12 tears is for their children to learn how to ignore those events in life tha they have been seeing, and believing, were "making them angry."

The next problem is educational in nature. Our teachers (homecor school) are good athelping children learn how to contstruct good sentences, but they are not very good about teaching what sentences do not make any sense.

When it comes to the science of mental injury, there really ins't any. I don't expect that a lot of my peers would agree with this statement, because we too have been subjected to the same pressures by courts and lawyers to buy into the mental injury concept.

I believe stating predictions, as if they are the truth, is another way of lying, and it is another example of very poor, misleading, and innaccurate communication.

Giving responsibilty; sometimes parents report how they have"given" their children responsiblity for emptying the trash, and how they have had to keep remindinghim to empty it, four or five times, before the trash is finally emptied. What mother amd father are transferring to their son is not responsibility, because that existed both before and after the request was made. What is transferred ia accountability.

When a person experiences a need to be perfect, which is why they are called perfectionists, it results in a sense of shame about dya to day failure, and these individuals, unable to raise their behavior to the level wanted, will experience a sense of disharmony.

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